so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
