Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
