Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
