yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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