i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
