If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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