And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
