It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
