you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
