think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
