Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
