tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
