We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
