Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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