Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Do vagina's smell?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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