5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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