he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
