Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
