in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
