i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
