So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
