I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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