found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
