Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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