My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
