Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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