he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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