I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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