Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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