I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
