I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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