did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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