....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she told me i tasted like america
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
