You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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