would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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