I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
