I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
sex in a hospital.. check
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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