Fine. I'll sleep in my office
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
