My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
