Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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