Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
