wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize