first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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