What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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