I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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