Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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