the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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