when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
