Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
