I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
