Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
