Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
