My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
