did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
