i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
