Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
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How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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