he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize