Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
