That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
its liver damage thursday
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
