i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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